IM STILL FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU. Fucking fuck. Shitty fuck fuck fuck. I feel so fucking empty. It’s Fuckibg sad, I know . But for the first time in years I felt happy. Then you left. I was put in a mental hospital under suicide watch for a week and I still don’t hate you. I love you . You don’t care. You won’t even see this . But I love you . I just, it hurts. You ignoring me hurts, not kissing you hurts, you not being here hurts. I’m suicidal. I got worse . I’m sorry . I just , I hate saying ’ I love you’ because when I was eleven my parents thought me it wasn’t real when my fucking dad cheated on my mother. Robert thought me it wasn’t real. But it felt real with you. I felt comfortable with you. I just , I love you. I don’t know. I just want a nice Christmas holiday. I want to be happy.